Adventures on Tellene - Stirrot Isle

Mandrake Thornberry - Day 1

The Delving – Mandrake Thornberry; DragonSlayer

If you read this then I have died or you are ready to accompany me on my noble quest. If the former you will carry on my mantle. If the latter, you shall find me at the Adventurer’s Inn. My name is Mandrake Thornberry. I am the DragonSlayer.

Your silent call for help has been answered. Somewhere on the island, within those ruins I can hear it’s breathing. It seeps inbetween the flagstones, makes the stones shiver, makes the island scream. From across the seas it called and from beneath the waves the dragon roars. Away from my mother I have been called me forth and though she weeped to see me go, for she could not come with me, she knows I’ll be back. Dead or alive, I’ll be back.
And in case the silly bitch at the inn is reading this – there’s no such thing as Pixie-fairy land. Idiot.

Let us talk tactics.
How does one approach the most cunning, the quickest, the most deadly of creatures holed up within it’s own tiny fortress?
Secrecy.
On my first day I tried to keep my motives of DragonSlaying concealed but my fame has reached even over here, and a silly man announced my presence on the island but way of trumpet. Foolish human, but the others were cleverer; they shied away, realizing my need of anonymity. If the Silverback Emerald hears of my coming, all is lost. I will operate as a mere adventurer and don their guise seeking treasure. Yes, the treasure is not for me but for funding the others – I will need a group of heroes.
One brave soul approached me after the trumpeting to accompany me on my quest. One look at him and I knew he was a genuine and noble soul. A quick little gnome, though his friend’s mind (may his mother revive him well), is too tuned towards the satiation of lust even while on adventure, MC ThreeHammer is of a different kind. He reminds me of the Great Oak in my hollow back in Thelsadar. There is much wisdom brewing underneath that gnomic bark. Ah! How I long for Thelsdar, where all know me.
But back to my tale, the delving must tarry onwards.
The ruins are being excavated. The humans are clumsily guarding the entrance of what cannot be guarded enough. At least the ebb of noble heroes flowing into the place will hold hold back the darkness for now and will hide me from the drake below, but already scouts have broken the surface.
The first descent is a spiral staircase and completely unlit.
There are to my knowledge six exits from this first chamber but we took the south-eastern exit.

My friends, beware of the curse on the gate of the door. I have since reflected upon the charm but I have not been able to figure out how it was able to so skew mine and my companion’s sense of direction.
Indeed, an hour into the expedition, we realized we were lost, but there was no time for mapping! An attack! Fourteen shadows across a pool, the tactical disadvantage to us. My companions could not make it through this battle, I knew. We hastily retreated – into the hands of a patrol of dog-like creatures.
Give chase! I ordered.
Through the spiraling tunnels we delved farther and farther until finally in one room we came upon a good ten of them.
Oh, it was a glorious battle. Two of them fell prey to the dead-gnome’s swings in the first second. MC smashed apart three with one blow of his hammers, and then slew another six with his second swing. I provided help where help was needed, instantly slaying one as necessary, but the general does not fight in the first skirmish.
A scout got away as planned, so we followed him through the wretched halls.
The halls are dark and slimy with ichor.
The Dog-King awaited us. Piles of their feces, pungent in the air.

A hundred of them swarmed us. MC takes down their leader but not before his friend falls.
The blade of the Dragonslayer was busy that day. Over, under, to the side I dodged a million blades. A lucky kobold, the sharpest-eyed of them all plugged me in the shoulder but I got him in his eyes. The battle was long and arduous but MC took out their kneecaps and destroyed their already rotting teeth. My fencing removed their tendons and their screams filled the darkness with an even darker light.
Upon the last dogcreature’s whine we find from him the treasury key, but most of their funds have already been shipped off.

What was left has gone into the funding of this group and for the sake of secrecy except to members I keep the contents secret. I hereby christen this group: We are Mandrake’s Dungeon Delvers. And all are free to join us – we will make it worth your while.

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Arriving on Stirrot Isle
Day 1

Day 1:

Casteel, Apfel, and Dangerbear arrived on the island after having spent two weeks on a boat. While Apfel was making friends with anyone who was remotely kind to him, Dangerbear spent his time declaring himself a master assassin and throwing trade coins at those he considered to be lesser than he. Quite nimble, the dwarf Apfel managed to catch 5 of these coins as Dangerbear watched, amused by the antics of the dwarf. Casteel couldn’t be bothered, and frankly seemed to quite loathe the other members on board, keeping mostly to herself.

As the boat neared the isle, they noticed quite an interesting tower. The tower’s initial construction had it standing straight, tall, and proud, until it dramatically angled to the right. It could then be seen that the tower sharply angled to the left, was then built horizontally before straightening out once more. All along the awkwardly built portions of the tower were chimneys, spewing out unique colors of smoke. As this was not their current destination, the adventurers on the boat paid it little heed after their initial astonishment.

Upon arriving at the island, they were accosted by a human, demanding identification. Realizing that certain people on the boat were adventurers, he regretted his chosen occupation. Once he collected unsatisfactory information, the adventurers quickly ignored him, and shifted their attention to some commotion happening further along the docks.

It appeared as though a half-orc with a remarkably disfiguring hump was being attacked by, and attacking, a human who had just disembarked the boat. While the cause of the fight was not overheard, the sheer intensity drew quite the crowd. One of the dwarves, Apfel, added to the commotion by claiming it was a race war. In fact, if one were observant enough, one may have also seen a shrouded figured taking bets.

Oddly enough, the half-orc was being thoroughly thrashed by the human, until he seemed to take note of his surroundings. Quickly adjusting his strategy, he forced the human further and further towards the water, until finally, with a mighty heave, pushed the human into the water, signaling an end to the fight. The shrouded figure returned some bets but kept others, preying on the gullible and telling the rest that since none had died, the fight was considered invalid.

Suddenly, the commotion continued as the human could not swim. The half-orc merely grunted and proceeded to ignore his plight, but the shrouded figure quickly jumped in and managed to save the human. He quickly mitigated his good deed by picking the man’s pockets.

Thus, the half-orc and shrouded figure met. The half-orc noticed the two dwarves, standing some distance away, and recognized Apfel, who had assisted slightly with his taunts and shouts. Upon some deliberation, the female dwarf deigned to speak with the non-dwarves approaching them, not failing to notice and comment on the half-orc’s lack of fighting prowess. Unable to completely dispute this, the half-orc attempted to justify it, and the topic was quickly changed.

The topic quickly changed to why people came to the island, for the treasure and for the fame, with the half-orc claiming prior knowledge of certain portions of the dungeon. Add the group discussed shares, they were set upon by a thin human boy, going by the name of “the Ladybug”, “the Shadowbug”, and “the Lightbringer” simultaneously. Entranced by the concept of being famous, he quickly became determined to join the party, especially once the half-orc (who kept changing his name) let it slip that he was a member of the party that slew the troll, deep within the dungeons of the castle tower. The half-orc set a test for the boy to determine his suitability, mostly to get the boy out of earshot.

Discussing the feasibility of having a Lantern bearer, the party decided to take him along, though they doubted aspects of his sanity as he claimed he could read and write, yet clearly could not, and used some of his meager coin to send another urchin to enquire whether the group had noticed his hiding location. It was decided that they would take him, giving him additional fame and none of the treasure. If he proved too inconvenient, it was agreed that he would die in the dungeon “accidentally”.

Incidentally, the box behind which the boy was hiding had managed to move up some 30 ft without the group noticing, so engaged were they in their conversation. This impressed the half-orc, and was indeed a contributing factor, as the boy demonstrated some skill aside from being easily excitable. In honor of the boy joining the party, he was dubbed “Traptester”, a name that thrilled him beyond measure and brought great concern to anyone else.

Agreeing to form an adventuring party, the half-orc generously offered to share the spoils from his previous forays into the castle dungeon. The dwarf, Apfel, took two divine icons, the shrouded Dangerbear took one icon, and the female dwarf Casteel took 6 torches, a Lantern, and two flasks of lantern oil.

The half-orc led them on a tour through the town with minor incidents spicing up the quiet town. It was learned that the owner of the Adventurer’s Inn was profoundly racist towards orcs, and immediately pulled a loaded crossbow on the orc as he entered the building. Beating a quick retreat outside, the half-orc proceeded to flip some tables due to his extreme ire. Upon asking if they could use their current gear as leverage towards a discounted rate on a private room, the party learned of storage rooms in the back of the inn, going for the price of 5 silvers per month of storage. While the price was good, they decided to return one they actually had something to store.

The party’s next stop was at a domed building, home to a group of clerics from the church of everlasting hope, known also as “The Caregivers”. The half-orc required some healing, due to the encounter at the docks, but refused the chance for free first aid. He donated much silver to the order, yet was unable to get any particularly satisfying result from them. The clerics justified their keeping of the orc’s silver, claiming that the whims of their God were not to be understood by mortal men. This served only to enrage the orc, who proceeded to flip a few tables, and quickly exit the building.

It was soon time to enter the dungeon. The half-orc led his party across the town down into a ravine, where the tower stood, seemingly harmless. The adventurers attempted to gain entry but were thwarted by the guards who demanded payment. The shrouded figure, Angerbear, managed to negotiate away one monthly pass from the guard, the other claiming to have long since sold his. This monthly pass would allow the bearer unlimited access within the 28 day period. The rest of the party, unfortunately, were forced to pay 2 silver pieces per day to gain entry.

Finally, despite many challenges, the party was able to enter the dungeon. They descended a spiraling staircase, winding up in the middle of a circular room with many doors. After some deliberation, the party decided to open the metal gate at the southernmost portion of the room. Apfel decided he should lift it, even though Traptester was ready and eager. This resulted in two arrow shafts being lodged in his body. Opting to retain the arrows, no first aid was given, though his movement was severely hampered, rendering Apfel unable to run without serious injury. Examining the gate, they found that wires had been attached, though one was now broken.

As the gate was now open, the party figured they may as well continue down the corridor. They sent in Traptester, who was promptly shot with an arrow at the next juncture and passed out. The party saw green figures that quickly darted away. Deciding they would no longer stand for being hit with random arrows, the party decided to follow the creatures, but opted to move carefully, sending their master assassin, Dangerbear, in first to scout. He stealthily made it around the first corner, where, in the middle of the passageway, his leg brushed against a wire, releasing a rather large stone block from directly above his head. Through virtue of his amazing agility, Dangerbear was able to escape unscathed.

Suddenly, two brown fuzzy heads appeared from the intersection that the party had ventured from, both creatures bearing crossbows. They fired wildly, missing absolutely everyone, threw down their crossbows and beat a hasty retreat. The party began to move towards the fuzzy brown creatures but it was too late, they were long gone. As some of their party was injured, the group retreated back up to the surface and to the domed building of the caregivers. The half-orc, still resentful, remained outside.

Once inside, Apfel began trying to barter for free healing by bringing out one of divine icons in his possession. The resulted in much muttering from the clerics, and two of the clerics began to insist that all members of the party that were inside walk with them to meet with the head cleric. The pair introduced themselves at the door to their destination as André and Halamar, and ushered the group inside.

Once inside the circular chamber, the party was introduced to Tender Rowling, head of this group clerics. He questioned the party as to how they obtained the divine icon. Apfel told a half-truth, that it was found within the dungeon by many bones. While this was indeed true, it was not Apfel who had discovered it. Tender Rowling informed the party that this particular icon had belonged to one of his clerics, a man named Malakar. He and another cleric, Sulin, had entered the dungeon but failed to return. The order had heard rumor that the church of agony worked within the dungeon walls but could find no proof.

Tender Rowling requested that, should the adventurers find the bones and/or the other clerics icon, he would be extremely grateful, to the point of free heals and potentially opening up the order’s coffers to dispense a monetary reward as well. He also said that should the adventurers find the location of the church of agony members and stronghold, his church would again be grateful and forced into action to deal with them. How they would do this was not mentioned, but the conviction behind his words carried no doubt that the caregivers would find some way to rally. As an initial token of thanks, Tender Rowling healed the wounded members of the party free of charge, including Traptester.

The party chose to descend into the dungeon once more, now being fully healed. They chose a different for this time; a locked door. Fortunately, Casteel’s skill with a pick was great enough to overcome the lock in a few short minutes. Behind the locked door lay a small room, containing many broken glass containers, along with three unopened containers of various substances. As they opened the containers one by one, the contents began to be revealed. The first was something long decayed, disgusting to the nose. The second appeared to be a container of sand, and as it poured out, nothing of interest was revealed. The third appeared to be wine, long past it’s prime. The half-orc smashed the containers with their contents, disgusted by the lack of value.

The party returned to the central room, eyeing the wooden door. Summoning Traptester, they moved to open the door.

The door opened easily, and behind it the party found three bookcases brimming with books that had not been touched in ages, as evident by the layers of dust surrounding them. Unable to read the books, the group decided that the books must be worth something, to be found within a locked room, and decided to take the books out. Making a few trips, the books were deposited in the center room, and then carried to town in backpacks, sacks. The quantity of books were so great that, unwilling to leave their spoils behind, the adventurers decided to carry the third shelf, books and all, rather than leave it behind and risk another adventurer claiming what was rightfully theirs.

Upon depositing the books and returning to the dungeon, the party established there was nothing else of value, and continued through the a nearby door. Unknown to the adventurers, the stone just beyond the doorway held a dangerous trap. Carelessly venturing forth, the pressure plate trap was activated, and a javelin burst from the far wall, nearly hitting some members of the party. Cautiously examining the room, the party found there was another door to their left, along with a tapestry directly in front of them, hiding them mechanism for throwing the javelin. The half-orc was furious, but (relatively) quietly instructed Traptester to take some water and sprinkle it gingerly around the room, seeking to find any more stones where the water would disappear down through the cracks. Traptester threw the water around carelessly, causing the half-orc to completely lose his temper. As Traptester basked in the half-orc’s fury, the door to their left suddenly opened, revealing three small green-skinned creatures who immediately attacked.

The party dispatched them easily within minutes, and, to ensure no further mishaps would occur with their party, etched an angry face onto the stone that contained the pressure plate trap. The group continued to explore, and eventually returned to the main room to open the final door. They were shocked, and please, to find the rear ends of another pair of green-skinned creatures, elbow deep in a chest. Moving quickly, the two assassins flew up to the creatures, and within seconds, dealt with the creatures. Grabbing their treasure, the party decided they had had enough for the day, and proceeded to leave the dungeon.

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Arriving on Stirrot Isle - Master Assassin Day 1 (part 1)
Goblins be dead

On the boat to Stirrot Isle, there were some strange people on this boat.
SO MUCH MONEY TO STEAL.
But for now I will keep to myself since I am better than everyone else here and the logic is therefore there is no one worth knowing.
I sharpen my dagger in the corner and look at these two dwarves……… ahhh not worth my time they seem poor anyway. I think one of them is called apple and other one kapil, whatever….. dwarves…….

FINALLY we made it to the harbor in Stirrot isle. I guess ill walk off the boat. Wait WHAT who is the human requesting identification. Master Assassins dont tell people their real name. Thats basically rule number one…….. how dare they try fool me. There is no problem at all I will outsmart him.

“I AM A MASTER ASSASSIN

That ought to do it.

OOOOOOOOOOO a fight at the harbor some ugly orc thing and a buff human.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT – as i stirred up the crowd and took the bets, but it ended that i broke even….. man that sucks i want money, WAIT the orc pushed the human into the water and he is drowning. This is my perfect chance. I run and jump into the water to pull the puny insect human to shore, FINALLY i thought to myself as i looted his body. When i got up i saw the orc looking at me. I left the human for him to continue to pee on.

The Orc then asked if i was looking to go into the castle? “Only if there is money for me” i said….. then something he said about going together…… blah blah blah orc orc orc orc orc……… then MONEY loot MONEY loot MONEY loot and the dwarves came and well same conversation happened, so mostly i just zoned out.

We then recruited some torch bearer? As the name suggest they just hold torches, its a little redundant if you ask me, but we did rename him traptester which was better than his previous name cocksucker or something….. who knows…… People in these lands really have strange names.

Something happened inbetween but i really dont remember. Then we finally arrived at the dungeon entrance. With my awesome observation I guard at the entrance. I ask why are there guards and the orc told me that i need to pay 2 silver to get in.

(THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS 2 SILVER TO GO IN. TO A SHITHOLE? WHO WOULD PAY TWO GOD DAMN SILVERS. DO THEY THINK WE RE ROYALTY. IM NOT FUCKING PAYING 2 SILVERS CAUSE MONEY DOESNT COME OUT OF M ASS I STEAL MY MONEY FOR A LIVING.

WHAT MY COMPANIONS ARE ACTUALLY WILLING TO PAY 2 SILVER PER ENTRANCE, WHAT A BUNCH OF IDIOTS. ) – Master Assassin thought to himself.

Thank god a guard was willing to sell his monthly pass for 3 silvers .. That is basically entrance fee for a month covered, i dont know how much i saved since i never learnt mathematics but its definitely a deal.

As we descended the stairs into the dungeon i knew i didnt have to be afraid. Afterall I am a MASTER ASSASSIN.

Basically in the dungeon we ran into some traps but people were just not agile enough to dodge them….. i dont know why this apple dwarf keeps taking damage from traps . . But i guess dwarves are a little cray cray.

Let me sum up what happened. It was taking FOREVER for these guys to kill some goblins so i just stab them and they died. I think i killed 3 and one of the dwaves (OH YEAH HER NAME is CASTEEL not KAPIL) killed one, but the rest of them werent that great….. but what can you expect, I AM A MASTER ASSASSIN mere goblins cant touch this. We got some loot left the dungeon and decided we will be back another day.

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FOR SALE: Detailed Maps of Castle Stirrot

The Vengeful Two and a Half have shown their superiority in only their first day on Stirrot Isle. Putting their name on the board with a stunning 340 points. Whilst you cannot possible manage to reach their great power and status, they are willing to share some of their findings.

Mar Thornstruck is a skilled cartographer and mapper and has spent some time detailing the areas explored.

For the low low price of 300 sp copies of these drawings can be provided to you. Upon this parchment is a small example of the amazingly detailed and annotated work that Mar has completed.

Castle_Stirrot__Print_Teaser_.png

And not only that, initial purchase will provide future discounts on updates from future adventures (cost to be determined).

So don’t hesitate now, get the one up on those green bastards and make sure your time is well spent exploring the dangerous halls of Castle Stirrot. Contact Mar Thornstruck (GM) to seal the deal.

N.B The Vengeful two and a half may also be interested in purchasing maps if the quality and accuracy can be verified, find Mar in the Adventurers Inn for more details.

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Stirrot Isle Inquirer: Green Thugs
A Menace to Civilized Life

This noble writer might feel endangered by her current composition and topic choice, were it not for the certainty that the ne’er-do-wells of which she speaks are utterly illiterate. You may know of them, the green savages who washed into our beauteous port hidden among the more innocuous adventurers attracted by the castle. The very ones who emerged from the castle, covered in blood and carrying severed beast heads and gave themselves, yes themselves dear read, the moniker ‘Lucky Lug and his Green Skinned Thugs’. However lucky they consider themselves, I think it is the upstanding citizens of this wonderful town who are made more unlucky by their foul presence.

It’s no great secret that I am disapproving of the lesser half-breeds. I would no more desire to let a half-orc into civilization than I would adorn the steeple of an ornate church with a bloated pig carcass. The natural superiority of humans, and even the purer of elves, needs no more attesting than can be acquired by common sense. Though if anyone should be in doubt let me simply inform you of the actions of the so called ‘Green Skinned Thugs’ through first hand accounts I have heard:

Firstly, I heard tell of a local innkeeper of good repute who was senselessly accosted in his place of work by a most foul smelling and malformed member.

Secondly, several members seem to exist of equal hideousness who go by names like Garbanzo the Great, Lulu and Red Hand. How many are there? Ideally there should be none, as far as good citizens are concerned.

Thirdly, one was seen in the marketplace with two battle-axes so large that two small children fainted. What is the world coming to? Are we on the bring of having our whole town invaded? I would never be one to fear-monger, but it is only a matter of time before buildings are being burned and human women are stolen from their beds at night to be tortured and raped. How human is even Lug? Is he some sick half-orc convert wizard?

Stop this madness! Look for more, when you buy our next issue!

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An Extract From Lug's Diary
2nd Delve

The gamble in this town is good. Many tables, many fools. I have entured a turnament, very intursting, hope it can help repay my scar half-orc friend’s kindness, always lending me silver. Today I had only 5 coins in folds of my robe, so I gathured up the thugs and suggested that we go once more into the castle. Today only 2 of the thugs were presunt, I shall remember to seek more, the nefurlious (how to spell long word) nine have none, well sevun really. Advantuge in numburs. Today was the day we beat them on that board, Krom is next.

The gards are always giving my friends odd stares and truble. Why are us humans so proud and sure that we are bettur? They take their cut for us to go into the trap filled hellhole, but luck is always on our heels, and they will be jealus of us in the end.

Today went past the illution. We met scrawny little things that call themself fallen leaf, and humans who call themself red bandits or sumthing. Fallen leaf have a goddess… lady in green. Red bandits have a king… forget name. Purhaps both hiding tresure.

We killed a little bit of each and found fancy daggurs in hiddun places. Stupid triangle room with had a fake rug and I feel down a small hole, but Lug is always lucky, and lands on his feet. We had a dying man draw us a map, but he lied to me, so I had to bleed him and leave him in a hole. Why do people always lie to Lug and his Thugs?

Oh, this was after we fought the strange monstur like a giant spiked devil or a octupus. Crazy beast paralyzed me for a good three minutes, but Hellscream showed him what was good, and praise be Ol’ Lucky I lived. From it’s bloated carcus we dragged some shiny armur.

When we got out with daggers and ringmail we were just 1 silver short of beating the damn nefurias nine. So we delved back in hoping to find a single silver. We found much more, but the tale is a little embarrussing for these pages. At least my scarred friend is doing bettur with watur, and it seems he may even come to serve Ol’ Lucky as well. One can only hope to keep allies as stalwart as him and Hellscream.

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Merlyl's log
First Day

So i came to this island thinking one thing, it is secluded and small, a perfect place to hide out and open up shop. told the fool at the docks that i was opening a cheese shop. guess its as good a front as any, perhaps i could get talon in on this venture… perhaps wine, he likes wine, although he did come up with a nice name for it, Killer Fromage. it has a nice ring to it.

anyways, this woman and her human walk up to us at the docks asking if we wanna go dungeon exploring. Talon wanted to go so i have no qualms with it, but i swear that human even looks at me funny and ill cut his balls off.

When we finally got to the castle there was not much to be seen, just a few shoddy buildings and not much else, inside there was some dog thing that blew itself up, it was pretty funny, talon should have seen the look on his own face, hilarious. hes gonna get himself killed one day if he doesnt own up to his fears.

we took a look around, the human turns out to not be useless because of his mapmaking, who needs maps though when you got brains? these guys said treasure, i say a fucking fork. anyways i bagged it cause nobody else wanted to. Turns out it was probably worth something as these filthy human cunts by the name of magnificant 7 stole it from me after the human shits himself and drops his weapon, useless human. Io on the otherhand cant fight so potentially equally useless there, although she seems to be hiding herself cleverly, ill have to consider that if i dont end up killing these blighters.

talon wants to kill the magnificunt 7, i just wanna kill. well find them and kill them i guess, in the mean time…

you notice the paper is sprayed with a gentle misting of blood and the name below writen in said blood
Merlyl, Assassin

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Dermott's Diary - Excerpt #1
Hole Sweet Hole

I have met so many friends lately! Molly says she’s very proud of me for meeting new people. I get the feeling that she might feel a little overwhelmed, so I’m trying to be very caring yet give her space. Things will be easier when we move into our new home. I already have a lovely spot picked out.

The dungeon we mucked about in seems an odd place. People seem to be on edge and at each others throats. They are free to be who they be, but a little common courtesy goes a long way. I wish that fellow hadn’t bitten me so quickly without so much as a hello or a handshake. He moved so quick it was other-worldy. I’ll be nursing those wounds for the next week or so. Not sure how he got the jump on me after I gave that door such a wallop.

After sustaining these wounds it was best to keep in the rear. I couldn’t bare to have Molly worrying over me. Luck would have it, this allowed me to discover two poor chaps tied up and in a bad state. I freed them when we got to the surface and had hoped they might help me begin construction of my den. After I freed them however, I’m sure it was their shock that drove them to run for their families. With a sigh, I returned to Molly; sad that they didn’t take my offer, but satisfied with helping them find freedom.

I was pleased to find Molly a present while I was adventuring. Beautiful things for a beautiful woman. This accordion screen isn’t much to look at yet, but I plan to refurbish it over the next few weeks and make it look like new again.

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A Letter to Talon
Pick yourself up, boy.

Dearest Talon,

Less than a day in Stirrot and already you are asking for my help and money? I sent you on your way with all that I had to give. Do not forget my generosity and take this as a lesson. I have faith you’ll find the means to accomplish our goals. This is but a minor setback. Pick yourself up, boy. You know what to do, don’t you? Have you forgotten how to make an example?

Give my love to Merlyl. I hear Inky has set off for Stirrot in search of him. Has she arrived yet? The girls are always asking about news of you. I’ll have the decency to not mention your most recent exploits.

Love and Kisses,
Madame D
XOXO

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Garzee Garzee: A Children's Rhyme
Footnote found in a historians text

The following is a transcription of a children’s rhyme that has become popular around Stirrot Castle. It occurs in many different versions with different verses being added, but the ones included here seem common to most versions that I have heard. The rhymes involves dancing in a circle while singing the chorus “GARZEE GARZEE” after which one child will jump into the center to sing a verse. Upon reaching the last verse everyone sings, and the word ‘thug’ is dragged out as long as possible, followed by a quick singing of the last line and all the children falling to the ground as if having been vanquished and usually bursting out laughing.

Garzee Garzee

An upstart goblin lout was he
Made his way about did he
Sought the castle out did he
Found something no doubt did he

Garzee Garzee

Took that twisted staff did he
Thought he’d have a laugh you see
Didn’t know the half did he
Now he’s coming after thee

Garzee Garzee

The staff warped his mind so quick
With its evil bag of tricks
Where the castle walls were bricks
He set children’s flesh to stick

Garzee Garzee

With all that power he was smug
Till there came the cleric Lug
With many a brave half-orc thuggggggg…..
And squashed him like a bug!

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